Sixteen, lost in the haze of youth,

Caught up in a forbidden truth,

Twenty years old she was, with a smile and a tall thick build that caught me,

A junior in high school, blinded, her kisses and touch set me free.

Cutting school, chasing dreams unseen,

In her arms, I found a twisted routine,

We got it in, birthed a spark in the night,

Two hearts beat within her, a future in sight.

Three months deep, she got into a fight,

Our twins, our dreams, gone from sight,

Miscarried hope, pain we couldn’t share,

Secrets I kept, drowned in despair.

Liquor and music became my escape,

More women in my bed, trying to reshape,

The void left by those unborn cries,

But solace never I found in between them girls thighs,

Parents was tripping, choosing new lives,

Leaving me lonely, trying hard to survive,

With each drink, each woman I used,

Searching for comfort in a world, I was confused.

Hurting the girls who tried to care,

Building walls, lost in a snare,

Regret, guilt, a heavy chain,

Praying to Allaah, to ease my pain.

I beseeched the Most High for another try,

To father in the future, with resolve to fly,

To raise children with love and pride,

A prayer I whispered, with hope deep inside.

Dreams of the paradise vivid while I sleep at night,

Me and the two children I lost, bathed in light,

Twins by my side, running and playing free,

A part of me gone, yet forever with me.

– Brandon Basheer Umar Pemberton